I am a Mom. For the past seven years, I have survived off an average of four to six hours of restless sleep per night and eating scraps of fruit and crusts of PB&J sandwiches. I have not been able to stay seated for more than three minutes at a time before being needed for something or realizing I forgot to do something. I have clipped so many coupons that I have a callous on my thumb and my fingertips are riddled with paper cuts.

I am a Mom. For every one thing I have done for myself, I’ve done a hundred for someone else. My exercise routine consists of getting up from the dinner table after every other bite to retrieve something for someone, lugging laundry up and down stairs, carrying children who are far too old to be carried but it’s just quicker that way, yelling, screaming, and threatening to throw toys away if they don’t get picked up, and, if there’s time, a rousing NERF gun battle.

I often find rocks and sticks in my purse and pockets, and it no longer phases me. I forget what a steaming hot cup of coffee tastes like. I am a Mom! No one ever said it was easy. And if anyone ever did say that, it would take all of my remaining strength not to punch them in their stupid face!

Anyway….. so it’s NOT easy, but there are two ways you can deal with it: you can whine and complain, or you can suck it up (which is coincidentally the same thing I tell my children when they get all bent out of shape about something ridiculous).

Also, option three is exploiting your kids on a blog, making motherhood seem funny rather than annoying. You can do this as a kind of therapy for yourself, or perhaps as a way of making a little extra cash, as you haven’t worked in seven years, and you are either not qualified for any jobs out there, or you are entirely overqualified for them, but the salary wouldn’t cover your weekly groceries let alone pay someone to watch your kids, who are the very reason you need to make more money in the first place!

Whew! That felt good! See? Therapy. And it’s free!

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