I’m always seeing articles and blog posts being shared and liked on social media about Moms judging Moms. I’ve never personally felt that anyone has judged my parenting skills. I’m not saying I haven’t been judged; I guess I just don’t really pay much attention to it. Who knows what some lady in the grocery store thinks when my kids are running a muck and I threaten to leave without them? (true story) But also, who cares?
I would love to say that I was innocent of judging Moms on occasion, or anyone for that matter. But if I did, I’d be lying. Judging other people is just human nature. We’ve all done it, even if it’s only for a split second.
Case in point, I was at a local beach one evening a couple of years ago letting my kids run up and down a concrete ramp at full speed while wearing flip flops (don’t judge me!). A young girl who looked like she was about two years old came up from the beach. She proceeded up the the ramp, no parent in sight.
About five minutes later, I heard a frantic mother yelling, “Where is she?! Where did she go?!” Assuming she was looking for the little girl, I started over to tell the Mom where she was, but the mother’s friend spotted her first. Then I heard the mother shout to the little girl, “Hey! Get the f*ck down here!”
Did I judge that mom? Of course I did! Not for temporarily misplacing her child, because who hasn’t done that on occasion? Not for yelling at her, because seriously, that’s how I communicate with my children pretty much exclusively. Not even for swearing in front of her child, because who among us hasn’t let a few curse words slip while yelling at our kids? But honestly, who talks to their 2 year-old like that? And in public? And in front of other small children?
So I did judge her. But I did so silently, in my mind, pretending like I didn’t even know what was going on. I didn’t call her out, or give her a rude look, or run home and write a “To the Mother Who Screamed and Cussed at her Kid in Front of Me” blog post. I simply thought to myself, “Well that seemed a little unnecessary,” and went about my business.
But then I thought of my own kids. Sometimes (all the time) there are those days where they drive me nuts and I end up losing it. Maybe that little 2 year-old, cute as she was, had taken off 15 times that day and her Mom just couldn’t deal with it any more.
As Moms, and human beings, we all have those moments of which we are not particularly proud. So in that spirit, if you are going to be judging Moms, do it nonchalantly, then put yourself in her shoes for just a moment. Then go back to judging if you want. I certainly won’t judge you for that…. well, maybe for just a second.