parents say the darndest thingsParents everywhere know that kids say funny, cute, and silly things. For instance, one of mine once asked, “Do they call them ‘bears’ because they eat berries?” Get it? Bears. Bearies. Adorable, right?

But enough about the kids. Parents say funny things, too. Granted, most of the time it’s in reaction to something our children have done, but I still think some of the bizarre (and often disgusting) things we as parents find escaping our lips deserve a little attention for once!

These are all actual things myself or my husband have said over the years.

  • “Why is there a staple in your hair?” (We still don’t know the answer to this.)
  • “Tell me again how you ‘accidentally’ threw your toothbrush in the garbage?” (Again, no answer.)
  • “Honey, can you please turn around and face the other direction so if you throw up, you don’t throw up in my face?” (Fortunately, my face did not get thrown up on.)

  • “What IS this? Why is my elbow sticky?!” (Feel free to replace elbow with any other word.)
  • “Yes, you can put your dirty tissue in my pocket.” (Or any form of garbage, rock, or stick.)
  • “I just found a fork in the laundry.” (Yes, that really did happen.)

fork in the laundry

And my personal favorite:

  • “Give her the turkey baster so she can put her belly button on the dog!” (I don’t remember what exactly was going on when this happened, but I do remember that I burst out laughing on the spot.)

I know that there are many, many more, but these just happened to be the ones I documented in one form or another. I wish I could remember more, but the truth of the matter is, when you become a parent, many of the strange things you say don’t actually seem strange at all. It all becomes completely normal rather quickly.

But every now and then, I catch myself or my husband saying something so ridiculous, I can’t help but write it down.

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