Well, it’s that time of the week when I have no energy or creativity left, so I’m digging in to the archives of my old blog. I found a post I wrote in January of 2009 when my oldest was five months old. Even though babies grow at such a fast rate, at the time, it seemed to me that he would never grow out of that infant phase.
Seven years later, I see things so very differently. Every day, I look at my kids and it completely blows my mind how fast they’ve grown. It makes me happy to see the wonderful people they’re becoming, but also a little bit sad to know that they’ll never be babies again. Then that makes me happy again, because taking care of a baby is exhausting! Then I’m sad again, because babies are just the cutest!
Anyway….. as you will read, I was just as conflicted about such things back then.
I know that people say kids grow up fast, and at some point, I’m sure that I will agree with that sentiment. However, when you are with your child every waking second of every single day, they don’t seem to grow all that quickly.
All I can think is, “Shouldn’t he be talking by now? Maybe walking around a little? Going to school? Graduating? Moving out? I mean, he can’t even sit up by himself yet! How is he going to graduate from anything if he can’t even sit up?!”
But I digress. I suppose I should just learn to enjoy the days where all I have to do is hold the little guy rather than chase him around the house trying to keep sharp objects out of his hands. I already find myself longing for the days when all he did was sleep between feedings. I want desperately to shout at the me of five months ago, “Don’t say that you can’t wait for him to be awake more often!”
But I know myself, and there will always be a part of me that will be looking forward to my child’s next stage of life, leaving whatever nightmare stage he’s in far behind, so that in years to come, I can say, “Remember when he didn’t talk back, or sneak out, or wreck the car, or get in fights, or….”
On second thought, he can stay a screaming baby just as long as he wants.
By now I’ve reached a point where I love that my kids are growing more independent each day, but they still need me a little bit. I can live with that. The only stage of life I can confidently say I am not looking forward to is when they are teenagers.