I read an article this week from CBS News about a poll they did asking Moms what their favorite Mother’s Day present was. I don’t know why I even clicked on it, but I was bored, so here we are.

Apparently, according to this poll, the number ONE thing Moms want for Mother’s Day is…… wait for it…… to spend time with their families! WHAT? Really?? I mean, I love my family and everything, but if spending time with your family is a “gift,” then I suppose I could consider every day Mother’s Day in my house! Because that is literally all I do. And I love it. Most of the time.

Mother's DayNot only did spending time with their families come in first, but guess what came in second? Go ahead, guess. Flowers! FLOWERS!! Again, flowers are great, but to come in second place for the best Mother’s Day gifts? I don’t think so.

How about something that I can pretty much be sure that every Mom would love? It doesn’t cost a thing, except perhaps a little bit of hard work and restraint from your kids. Any guesses? That’s right! Helping out around the house and maybe, just maybe, being well-behaved for a day.

Do you know what place that came in? Second to last!! The only thing better than your kids helping out and being good all day is getting an hour to yourself to do, well, anything! And “getting time to yourself” didn’t even make the list!!

So, CBS News, I don’t know who these “Moms” were that you polled, but I’d be willing to bet that the only reason they answered in the way they did was for the following reason: You asked them in front of their husbands and kids who had probably planned some fun family activity for the day, and had already ordered flowers, and these selfless Moms didn’t want to hurt their family’s feelings.

Now for my list. Here are the things I would like for Mother’s Day:

  • For my children to refrain from fighting, yelling, making messes they refuse to clean, whining, complaining, etc. You get the picture.
  • An hour of alone time. That’s it. Just one, measly hour.
  • A homemade card. Because I’m not a monster!

That is literally all I want.

Here’s what I don’t want:

  • Jewelry. I haven’t worn jewelry on a regular basis since having kids, and any jewelry I do wear seems to have been claimed by my daughter. The rest of it remains stored away in a closet somewhere, probably.
  • Flowers. They are pretty, and smell nice, and all that stuff. But honestly, the last thing I’m looking for is another thing I need to keep alive, even if it’s only for a week.
  • Chocolate. I already have a secret stash of that.
  • Going out to eat. I worked in a restaurant for many years on Mother’s Day, and it was awful. It’s crowded and noisy and full of Moms trying to enjoy themselves, but they can’t. Because they’re Moms, in a restaurant with their children, who are probably trying their best to be good. But seriously, who are we kidding?

And all of this is taking into account that I even remember that Mother’s Day is coming.

So from this Mom to all the other Moms, Happy Mother’s Day!

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