I am a big fan of the to-do list. I make one for myself every week. I even write things on it that I’ve already done to make it seem like I’ve accomplished something (and also to remind myself that I did it, and do NOT need to do it again, which sometimes works).

to-do list
Anyway, since children don’t have all that many responsibilities, and their parents are there to constantly remind them of what little responsibilities they DO have, I often wonder what a to-do list might look like for them.

to-do list

__Take as many toys out as humanly possible within the first hour I’m awake.

__Whine and/or complain about something (preferably something trivial and inconsequential) until parents snap.

__Irritate sibling, but only if they are playing quietly by themselves and minding their own business.

__Ask for something repeatedly until parents threaten that I will NEVER get it again if I don’t stop asking (i.e. dessert, screen time).

__Get dressed, but only after being asked a minimum of five times, and preferably when parents begin yelling at me or bribe me, whichever comes first.

__Take three hours to clean up a mess that would take normal people no more than five minutes.

__Insist on playing with toys that are missing pieces, need batteries, or need to be charged. Then complain about it for extended period of time.

__Prefer to play with things that sibling just started playing with, claiming, “I was just going to play with that!”

__Only ask for parent’s help three seconds after they start doing something.

__NEVER let Mom shower, or care for her hygiene in any way, without bursting through the bathroom door. The reason does not matter.

__No matter what is for dinner, complain about it at least once, even before I know what it is.

__Ask for a snack within 10 minutes of eating any meal or another snack.

__Claim that I’m hungry if I see anyone else eating or if food is mentioned.

__Listen to parents only when they are have a conversation that has nothing to do with me.

__Do NOT listen to parents when they are talking directly to me.

__Insist I don’t need to pee before leaving anywhere with a bathroom, no matter how many times I’m asked.

__Get the urge to pee when I’m pretty sure we’re too far away from the aforementioned bathroom to turn back.

__Make as much noise as possible, as if I’m trying to break the world record for the most noise ever made.

__Move extra slowly when it is clear that parents are in a big hurry.

__Desperately need any toy or blanket that I cannot find, especially at bedtime.

__Complain about basic hygiene like brushing teeth, washing hands, showering, etc.

__Act surprised every night when it’s time for bed, even after I know how to tell time.

__Claim to hate something one day, but say I can’t live without it the next day (or even later that first day).

__Conspire with sibling to make sure one of us always has a problem with whatever fun thing parents do for us.

__Do something super nice, thoughtful, and/or cute so parents forget all the other stuff and remember that I’m a precious gift.

__Repeat forever, probably.

I don’t know if kids actually put that much thought into it, but some days it sure seems like it. What I DO know is that kids are going to be kids, with or without a to-do list.

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