Good morning, boys and girls, and welcome! This is your mother speaking. It has come to my attention that many of you have fallen under the impression that I am here to be your personal cruise director, while in reality, I am your mother.
As your mother, my primary purpose is to keep you alive, feed you, clothe you, keep a roof over your head, and things of that nature. It is NOT my job to keep you entertained, as would a cruise director.
Of course, I’d be happy to play with you here and there. I can read you a book, do a puzzle with you, or dress up your giant plush Olaf in your clothing. (Yes, this actually happened.) I’m not a MONSTER!
My kids asked me to dress up Olaf. I did it, but not before shouting, "I went to college, you know!"
But the rest of the time when I’m cooking, cleaning, sewing up holes in your favorite stuffed animals, gluing your broken toys back together, paying bills, clipping coupons, cleaning (again), yelling at you to clean, yadda, yadda, yadda…. you are on your own.
I’d be happy to take you to the park or the beach once I’m done (or not done, as the case may be) with all the things I have to do, because you can’t drive yet. But once we’re there, I’m afraid you’re on your own again. I’m more than happy to “watch this,” but beyond that, my job is to sit and make sure you don’t get injured, or cause injury to someone else.
In the meantime, feel free to take out one of the million toys you “had to have” and actually play with it. Read a book. Do a puzzle. Build something. Write a story. Draw a picture. Make an obstacle course. Ride your bike. HELP ME CLEAN!
So today, without the aid of a mom or a cruise director, you will be doing whatever your imaginative little minds can come up with, so long as it doesn’t bother me while you’re doing it, or create a mess so big that it makes my head explode after you’re done.
Then I’m all yours.