Parenting is a lot of things – wonderful, annoying, rewarding, annoying, irritating, confusing, upsetting, amazing – take your pick. At any given moment, kids can make it one, or all of those things put together.
But no matter your current emotion, it always ends with the same result – parents everywhere asking questions to which they already know the answers. Because the answer is always, and forever will be, “kids.”
-Why is this wet? Kids
-Who made this mess? See above.
-Who ate all the food? Who else?
-What is that smell? Definitely the kids.
-Why is there water all over the floor? Kids. They took a bath or shower, so obviously they needed to make the outside of the tub look like the inside of the tub.
-How did this break? How do you think it broke?!
-Can’t I just do [insert anything]?! No? Why not?? That’s right. Kids.
-Why are there toys in the freezer? Why are you asking?! You know why!
-How did this fork get into the laundry? I mean, really. A fork. In. The. Laundry! KIDS!!!
It can even be the answer to a lot of questions that other people might ask of you, such as:
-Why are you late?
-How did you get those stains on your clothes?
-Why do you have cereal in your hair?
-How did that sticker get stuck on your butt?
-Why are you so tired?
In fairness, the majority of sane people wouldn’t be dumb enough to ask a tired-looking Mom who just arrived late somewhere about the stains and stickers on her clothes, and cereal in her hair, about any of those things. Not anyone who doesn’t want their teeth knocked out, anyway. But you know they are definitely thinking all of those things. And chances are, if they are a parent themselves, then they already know what the answer is.