Summer is well under way, and probably almost over for a lot of you, but it’s not too late to get that summer body you’ve been swearing you’ll get back since that first summer after having your last precious, body-wrecking child. I’ve devised a fool-proof summer workout for Moms that’s sure to get you ready to rock that bikini* again!
*Author’s Note: This workout is in no way going to get you your pre-kid body back. It is purely for laughs (which does burn some calories). If you can wear a bikini comfortably after having children, I applaud you. I, however, am just fine with wearing tankinis for the rest of my life.
For this summer workout, all you need is yourself, some kids, and a little bit of rage boiling under the surface. And if you have kids, that rage should be no problem to find! Let’s get moving!
MORNING Start your day with a warm-up to get your blood moving. A great way to do this is yelling. It doesn’t really matter what you’re yelling about, as long as your yelling. Here are some things you can yell at your kids about:
- to stop yelling at each other
- to get dressed
- to stop fighting
- to get their shoes on
- to clean up their messes
Keep that blood moving as you try to get them out the door. Chances are, you’ll be running late for something – meeting friends, a class you signed them up for – so this should be pretty easy for you. Running back into the house for the things you or your kids forgot will help get your heart rate up, and get a good amount of cardio in.
AFTERNOON During the summer, many Moms are known to take their kids to the beach or the pool. This is a great opportunity to get a variety of exercises in. We live near the ocean, so here’s a typical beach workout for me:
Warm up – Lugging everything to your spot. Even if you make your kids carry stuff, you’ll likely end up carrying one or two extra things because they were “too hard” for your kids to make it from the car to the beach with them.
Upper Body – Digging holes. Kids love digging holes. I don’t know why. But they will almost always want help.
Core – Getting up and down constantly. As soon as you sit down, the kids will need something, just like at home, only this is harder because you’re getting up from an extremely low beach chair.
Cardio – Keep that heart rate up by looking frantically for your child who was just in the water a second ago, but you can’t find them now, and it turns out they got out of the water during the second you looked away and are now standing right next to you.
Finish off with lugging everything back to the car. You’ll feel like you have more stuff than when you arrived, which is entirely possible.
EVENING So you’re home from the beach or pool or whatever activity you’ve signed your kids up for, and it’s time to relax, right? Haha, of COURSE not! Even though you’ve been gone all day, your kids will somehow make your house look like you’ve been holed up in it for three months.
To continue your never ending summer workout, you have a couple of options. You can do more yelling at your kids to clean up their mess, OR you can clean the mess yourself, because at this point, you’ll get it done faster than they will and burn a lot of calories in the process. There is also much laundry to be done, since it seems to multiply by at least 10 times during the summer months, so lugging those baskets up and down the stairs gives you a whole body workout.
COOL DOWN The kids are in their pajamas, their teeth are brushed, probably, and it’s time for you to cool down by calmly telling your kids if they get out of bed even once, you will see to it they don’t get any ice cream or sweet ice-realated treats for the rest of the summer.
Once you are sure they are in bed for good, you’re free to do some light cleaning for a full cool down, or you can opt to pour yourself some sort of icy alcoholic beverage, or perhaps a nice big bowl of ice cream that you’ve been hiding in the back of the freezer. Then, sink your body down into the couch, and let out a big sigh.
Congrats on finishing your total Mom summer workout! For optimal results, repeat every day of the summer, and you’re good to go!