Dear Teachers,

First, let me say how much I love you. Teachers are amazing people. I know your job is difficult, teaching and looking after so many small children each and every day. I also know that to make this difficult job a little bit easier, it’s in your best interest to encourage good behavior from your students, and that to accomplish this, it’s common practice to award them with little prizes when they are well behaved as a way to positively reinforce that good behavior.

Teachers

But you see, teachers, my children are little hoarders in the making. If other children are anything like them (and I suspect that they are), you have a classroom chock full of little pre-hoarders. Every little prize you give them that we, as adults, see as nothing more than a trinket, is a priceless treasure that must be kept in a safe place for the rest of all eternity, right next to that thing they found in the parking lot that one time.

Do you remember that little puzzle eraser you gave them? That eraser is never leaving my house. I will be finding pieces of it on the floor every week for the next 10 years. I will be forbidden from throwing away any of those pieces because, as stealthy as I think I am at hiding things in the garbage, children are born with a sixth sense; they don’t see dead people, but they know when their mother is about to trash one of their valuable treasures.

teachers

I love that you want to encourage our children to do good work and be attentive listeners. I only wish that you might try some alternative methods. Perhaps try rewarding them with a movie, or an extra recess, or even candy! I would rather you send them home with a sugar high than another knickknack; at least a sugar high is temporary.

Again, teachers, I love you no matter what. You are helping to shape and mold a generation of children into better human beings. If you could just do it without turning my house into a virtual dollar store, I would love you even more.

Sincerely,

A Mom who isĀ almost buried alive in her kid’s stuff

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